Derelict Theology

Another Christmas has come and gone for me. The paper has all been ripped away from the packages, the surprise gifts have been gifted, and much food has been consumed along the way. Hovering over it all though, has been this debate over the approprite tidings of Christmas, and whether or not using that very word is correct or not. The local paper from Jackson, TN ran an article this past week about the library in my wife’s hometown, and their Christmas message on their sign. It said “Merry Christmas. It’s ok to say it.” This story, and commentary one the recent debate, both ended up on the front page of the paper.

It’s really left a sour taste in my mouth, not because I think “Happy Holidays” or “Merry Christmas” is better one way of the other, rather, it’s left a sour taste with me because of how we are wasting our time worrying about a silly phrase instead of actually living out the Christmas spirit. I wonder if this was how Jesus lived, running around correcting people’s speech and telling them the proper phrases to make it through life, rather he saw the need in people’s lives and spoke love into those situations. Seriously folks, how does a campaign to boycott stores and sign petitions speak love into this situation? It just makes us seem even more like basement dwelling, Bible thumping, kool-aid drinking weirdos.

Maybe we forget that the word “holiday” comes from a pairing of two words “holy day”. Maybe we forget that Christmas happens on a day that isn’t even Christ’s birth, maybe we forget Target has no obligation to be a “christian” company, and maybe we forget that simply saying “Merry Christmas” doesn’t make most people think about Jesus anymore than their gifts do. It’s not our duty to place banners in stores, or stand in front of them ringing bells. It’s our duty to take the gospel to every tongue, tribe, and nation, and hanging a banner over the jewelry aisle just doesn’t cut the mustard when it’s held up to that standard, does it?

Let me preface this post with a little background info on myself: I am an attention hog. I love positive attention and I love to the center of any situation I am in. Now, a lot of times at my church, I am not the center of attention, because a lot of focus gets placed on the pastor and I’ve had to come to deal with that in the 3+ years I’ve been here. But, what happened yesterday fed my attention craving in such a way, I believe it was a blessed moment. God was truly there and had provided this little ego boost to me.

But, there’s more backstory. We have two boys in our youth ministry who live in North Carolina. As you could imagine, North Carolina and Adamsville, TN are pretty far apart. So, they only get to be here on holidays and summers. But, they have developed such a bond with our regular kids that they are considered one of the family, not just the summer drop ins, as some could be. The time these guys are away, the rest of the youth group spends wanting them to be back. I could go into the whole situation as to why they come and go, but it’s long, full of pain, and I don’t know if they’d appreciate me putting it on the internet. They just come to stay with Grandma and Grandpa, who live just right down the road from me.

Anyway, on to the story. Adam and Ats (who is named so because his brother used to call him “fats” but one day decided he was so annoying he didn’t deserve the “f” in his name and just started calling him “ats”) are home for Christmas. Yes, everyone calls him Ats, it’s just accepted now. They gave me a call yesterday when they first got in and told me they were here, which is code for “we want to come to your house.” Unfortunately I couldn’t, because a church member had passed away and I was with his wife, helping her get things in order. So afterwards, I was making a trip to Walmart and I went to pick them up and take them with me, since they are going to be here for around 6 days and I’m only going to see them for 1. (due to vacation) Here’s where my little ego boost comes in. As I pull into their driveway, the oldest one, Adam, has seen me coming, and he runs around the corner of the house, literally jumping up and down and yelling because he’s so excited to see me. As I get out of the car, he runs up and gives me a gigantic hug. Y’know, thinking back on it now, I don’t think any other person in my life has ever ran my way, jumping up and down because they were so happy to see me. It was great.

Adam and Ats both have had a special place in my heart since for about the last 2 years. They do have a rough life and still have it rough, and they both wish they could live here permenantly. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. So they must continue to make the trip, and we must continue to miss them. This whole situation got me to thinking about the issue of appreciation though. Is it a good thing to want to feel appreciated? It can control your life. It can make everything you do be for you and not for God. Of course, that is bad. On the other hand, I think we all need some appreciation sometimes to keep our tank full and keep us going. So we walk a fine and deadly line. Either people please to get as much appreciation as we can, or do what we know God wants and seek His appreciation, and occasionally get the appreciate of our peers and colleagues. Honestly, I know I do a little of both sometimes, and that’s not the best way to do it, but I think we all just have that need of knowing we matter to someone. But knowing we matter to God is the best of all.

Andrew W.K. wants to give you the gift of partying hard for Christmas. Wherever you are right now, when it’s time to party you should party hard!
Tonight our youth group parties hard with a progressive dinner! Party!

Yesterday was an interesting day. I met with my friend Jared and had a great talk, it was something I’d been needing to tell someone for awhile. Isn’t it always great to have that feeling of pressure lifted from you? Too many times Satan can use our guilt or our feelings to put a heavy pressure on us, and a lot of times, that pressure makes me someone I’m not. I decided I’ve finally had enough of that weight, and I just needed to talk to someone. Amazing how just talking about something can put it all in perspective.

Lately, I’ve been wearing a lot of hats. I don’t know why. I’m not talking about doing different jobs, either, I’m talking about literally wearing hats. I cleaned out a closet here in our house that really needed it and found several wintery style hats that I owned that I hadn’t been able to find. My favorite is a beige corduroy hat that looks something akin to what the pig farmer from Babe wore. (Obscure reference, I know.) So, I guess I am into liking hats again. I used to be a big hat person, but for some reason, I just stopped wearing them.

But typing that just got to thinking, of course, about how many theoretical hats I wear each day. Husband, youth pastor, children’s pastor, associate pastor, Christian, Baptist, problem solver, driver, blogger. Phew…that’s a lot of hats, and I don’t think I even covered half of them. Do you ever just want to take them all off? Do you wonder what would happen if no one applied those labels to you? Who you would be? What you would do? To me, it’s an interesting thought. Perhaps we would be no one at all, because we as humans like to exist so much in our labels.

Leave me a comment today and tell me or show me which kind of hat you think I should wear. Maybe I’ll purchase a new one this week.

I just got back from seeing The Chronicles of Narnia movie, and, like many others I enjoyed it. My wife and I took a small group of our youth with us and it was interesting hearing them dissecting the scenes and dialogue on the way home. I’ll be really honest when I say I didn’t know what to expect going into the theater. I mean, I knew it was an allegory, but I didn’t know quite how much I’d like it. As a kid I tried reading the Narnia books but I never could get into them, I guess it didn’t have anything to do with explosions or giant robots, so I didn’t like it. But now I wish I’d have read the books earlier. I think the part that got me, along with many others, I’m sure, is Aslan. The CGI effects for the animals were top notch, and Aslan was so majestic, so regal in his appearance, and so gentle in his movements and speech. But when he fought….wow!

I don’t know why, but I have always loved the illustration of Jesus as a lion. It’s always struck a great chord with me, probably because I’ve always liked lions and because I can see both their gentleness and beauty, and their ferocity and power. And to me, Jesus is this way. He is gentle, and He is beautiful, but He is also ferocious and powerful. He will teach, He will fight. He will bless, He will smite. Many people may not like to think of Jesus in this way, but much in the same way we know we will never understand all of an animal, we will never understand all of Jesus. We can observe Him, experience Him, even smell Him or touch Him, but we will never know all of His thoughts, or why He takes certain actions. That’s my kind of Jesus, the wild, mysterious, totally not tame Savior, who will fight for me in battle, who will lay down His life for me at the hands of the enemy, and who will be patient with this traitorous heart, and love it back to life.

A post I finally got around to reading over on Marko’s blog this morning got me to thinking about loaded questions. In fact, it really got me to thinking about how much I hate them. Especially when they try to get me to think the same way as the person who is asking them, such as “You do think Harry Potter promotes witchcraft, don’t you?” Or, “I think such and such is right, don’t you, Marty?” Gah! I hate having to answer those questions, because most of the time, no, I don’t agree with you. However, asking that question “what is the least someone can believe and be a Christian” is the most giant crock of crap I’ve heard in a long time.

It’s like saying: how little effort do we have to put into our faith in order to have it? How many times do I have to try to open the jar before it finally opens, I hope it’s not too many, because I don’t want to exert the effort for long. Here I spend my time trying to teach my youth that they are the future of the church, and they need a thriving, engaging faith to make the future of the church relevant, and other youth leaders and workers have ideas like this “least” thing that I feel undermines all of that. It’s simply setting an event up for failure if we try and lower the bar that much. I believe that youth today want meat, not milk, and loaded questions like that, even asking “how much can someone believe and be a Christian” is harmful in the long run. So what is the solution to this problem, then? I believe it’s up to us to stop asking loaded questions, and use better ways to figure out how to serve kids and teach them.

Today I had to go to the local high school, pull two of my 8th grade girls out of class, and sit down with them in the lobby of the school and tell them that their grandmother had died suddenly this morning. She was sick, but was slowly getting better before taking a nosedive. I stood there, watching their faces turn from question to shock to anger to sadness, and I silently wondered to myself, “When I had all those wonderful ministry classes in college that I paid so much for, why did they not prepare me for something like this?” We stood for awhile, we talked, we prayed, their friends came over and began to console them, and with a final hug, and “I love you” and a bit of hopefully welcomed reassurance, I was out the door and on the way to the hospital, to see their older sister, who was one of the first youth we met here at the church, now graduated, and their mother and grandfather. On the way over, I had time to stew, and the question that had popped in my head earlier came drifting back slowly. Why had I never been prepared for something like this?

Is it that something like this, like telling someone that someone they loved has died, is way too random to be taught? Or rather, do we simply spend way too much time on opinion, theory, and nearly useless conventions that we neglect that actual training of a minister? How exactly would you train someone to handle family and neighborhood crises? I’m not entirely sure I have the answer to that question. It’s never easy to tell someone something that hurts them. I wish that there was some kind of manual for this type of thing, y’know, like with different chapters on how to deal with people. Chapter 1: How to deal with parents (angry and non angry). Chapter 2: How to deal with deacons. (Old and bitter, young and idealistic). Chapter 3: How not to kill youth in your ministry…y’know, etc, etc, etc. It would be a wonderful book and sell millions upon millions of copies. Why? Because it’s never easy to deal with people, in fact it’s hard, and the reality of a harsh world makes it hard to deal with people.

Can you imagine the uses for this? They are numerous and exciting, nearly to the point of fervor. Too bad I can’t wear it.

http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/columnists/dave_barry/13318373.htm

Yesterday we had tickets to the Winter Wonder Slam concert that was taking place in Nashville, TN. The line up was good: DJ Maj, John Reuben, Grits, Matthew West, BarlowGirl, and Toybmac, in that order. Everything was rush, rush, hurry, hurry, because it takes us about 2 hours to get to my parents house and then an hour from there to get to Nashville. So we rode awhile, stopped, got an Arby’s roast beef sandwich, and then continued on to the concert. Found our seats easy enough (it was general admission) and settled in. It was a pretty good show. DJ Maj only played 2 songs (sadness), Reuben rocked about 5, but only because of the fact that he combined about 3 songs in one. I thought maybe having the band would make him a little calmer, but nope, he’s the same old Reuben. Grits played about 6 songs, and they were extremely good. Best I’ve seen them. Matthew West surprised me with how good he was, as did BarlowGirl, who were the only ones on the ticket that I’d never seen before. There were tons of people who left after Matthew West and BarlowGirl, I suppose because they’d seen who they were there to see. It was an odd move to put all the rap acts first, and give them less time, but I guess that’s to be expected for Christian hip hop.

Unexpectedly, it was BarlowGirl who ministered to me the most last night, and it’s been a long time since I’ve gone to a concert with the expectation of the artist doing that, I’ve generally just gone for the music lately. But, last night, God spoke to me through BarlowGirl. They spoke for just a few minutes on how much God enjoys using the called, not the perfect to do His work, and all He requires is a yes, not perfection. God seemed to yell that in my ear last night, that He just wants my yes, not my perfection. Not perfect programs, plans, retreats, relationships, or anything. He wants my yes and then He gives me what I need to do those things. How often I forget that, and forget that God loves me no matter what, even when I mess up 10 times a day or more. There is nothing that’s going to stop His love, not rules, not regulations, not sin, nothing! Made me realize I need to stop loving my rules and loving myself when I do the right things, and just let God love me all the time, no matter what.

I came home from the office yesterday and finished the last of our outdoor Christmas decorations. All that was left was to put some bows on the railing of our porch outside. I don’t understand bows. Where did they originate, and why did someone look the bow once it was created and decide it was something that they wanted to hang on things and decorate their body with? Are we so amazed by our ability to make fabric hold a permanent loop that we don’t see that it’s just that: fabric in a loop? The bows got put up, our house now has the distinct look that Christmas threw up all over it, and now we wait a month and put it all back up. I’m seriously thinking my grandma has the right idea with buying a tiny, pre lit, 4 foot tree and simply covering it up with garbage bag and putting it in a closet each year. Maybe I’ll try that.

Yesterday, Erin called and told me that she wasn’t feeling well. So, I figured that it was just a headache, and that she might feel better by the time she got home. She called back about an hour later and told me she was on her way home, in order to go to sleep. She didn’t look like she felt very well when she got there, and so she went to bed and I went to church, to get things ready for last night. I’ll be honest. Doing stuff without her there was tough, because I realized just how much she does. She did try to come at 6:00 to be there for the program stuff, but I met her at the door and told her to go back home, she looked so pitiful.

So, last night I flew solo for the first time since I’ve been here, and I didn’t like it at all. Stayed ’til 9 because of choir practice (I watch the choir people’s kids after youth is over) and then went to the world’s slowest Sonic to get Erin some food. Bought gas for 2.07 (which, as always, prompts a price drop here in town, it was 1.99 this morning) and then finally made it home at about 9:20. Watched Lost, checked mail, folded clothes, and went to bed. I figured out in all of this that I am a selfish, horrible person, because to be honest, I was a little mad that Erin was sick, and on Wednesday of all days! I don’t know why I get made when she gets sick, I uppose it could be because she won’t go to the doctor, and that’s how I grew up. Sick? Go to the doctor. Period. But, we were raised differently, and 3 years into our wonderful marriage, I’m still getting used to that. I suppose it never really works out totally. Seems what I really need is some medicine to make me a nicer person, and one that’s more easy to get along with. Do they sell that stuff at Wal-mart?