Derelict Theology

Hopefully this is part 1 of an ongoing series. See, living where I do, there are lots of stupid things that happen. LOTS. And so, for the purpose of your amusement, I figured I would start documenting them, about once a week or so. They’ll be posted more often depending on frequent occurances. However, this was too good to let go.

About 3 weeks ago, one of the kids at my wife’s school had to have their parents come in for a meeting. Standard stuff. The day of the meeting, however, they got a call from the kid’s mom that went a little something like this:

Wife: Hello?

Parent: Hey, we’re going to have a reschedule that meetin’ today…

Wife: Ok, that’s fine. When can you come in?

Parent: I don’t know yet. See, my husband, he was bein’ stupid….

(that line right there begins the descent into hilarity)

Parent: See, he was balancin’ a can of chili on the end of his shotgun, and well, he threw it up in the air and shot it. I guess he didn’t figure it was going to explode, but it did. Plumb near cut his lip off. So we’ve been in the emergency room all night, gettin’ his lip sewed up.

Wife: Oooooo k. We’ll reschedule for this date right here….

Ok. Let’s recap. A man takes out his shotgun, and for no good reason other than he can do it, balances a can of chili on the end of his shotgun. Then, he tosses it into the air and shoots it at close range, which causes the can to explode and spray chili and shrapnel all over the surrounding area.

DUH.

How would you like to tell that one to the doctors and nurses at the emergency room?

I was looking through the obituaries here the other day, trying to figure out when visitation was for someone, and I read a line in the obituary that said something to this effect:

“Mr. So-and-so is survived by his wife Mrs. So-and-so, his children, his cousins, and his siblings, and HIS PET DOG JULIE.”

Only in Adamsville.

Surfing the internet can find the most ridiculous things, and here’s an example…

For some reason, I found this to be of the utmost hilarity this morning…..

Interesting news this morning from MSN, that Kevin Federline played to an almost empty club full of people recently in New York. The place could hold 1500, but he only drew about 300, waiting 3 hours past his start time to let more people show up.

Read the whole story here:

So, vidoe hits the internet today of Kanye West storming the stage at the MTV European VMA’s after losing in the Video of the Year Category. Y’know, I’m sorry that his million dollar recording contract, huge amounts of material possessions, and staggering popularity can’t satisfy him enough, so he has to ruin the celebration of another artist in order to voice his feeble opinion. I’m also sorry that he’s a spoiled brat of a “star” who still enjoys staggering popularity even though he has an ego the size of Texas. Seriously, having the audacity to walk on stage while another group is speaking and say “if I don’t win, this show loses credibility.”

Someone should give him a swift kick in the pants.

EDIT: Sorry if you couldn’t see the video, but it seems that all videos of this are being taken off youtube. If you can though, go to msn.com and look at their videos…it’s there, and boy, it is ever stupid.

Here’s another video that will hopefully make you realize that you don’t really sound as bad as you think you do when you sing in the shower. Of course, that is unless your name is John Daker. Be sure to watch for the lady playing the piano too, and count how many times she can say she’s from “First United Methodist Church”.

I just don’t know what to say………….

I’m going to add a new feature fo the website, which may or may not work.  Each week from now on I’m going to to upload a video of the week, which has either made me chuckle, made me think, or has eaten up my time in some other way.  I hope that you enjoy.  Now, without further ado, the musical stylings of……….RAP CAT!!!!

I think I need one of these for my church van!  Of course, if brought near my house, the batteries would be used up in one day. 

 Every youth minister needs: The Fart Detector!

[credit to Marko from www.ysmarko.com for this gem]